If your sales calls feel great… but keep ending with “I need to think about it,” this episode is going to hit a little close to home (in the best way 😜).

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Episode Summary

Let’s just say the quiet part out loud: most people think they’re good at building rapport… but they’re actually just being polite. And while politeness is lovely, it doesn’t close deals.

In this episode, Brooke breaks down the real role of rapport in a sales conversation—and why staying surface-level is quietly costing you clients.

You’ll hear why “being likable” isn’t the goal, how generic questions sabotage trust, and what actually helps someone open up about the real problem you can solve.

Because here’s the deal: if you don’t get the real problem, you can’t offer real value. And that’s where sales start to fall apart.

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✨ What You’ll Learn

• Why “good conversation” doesn’t equal effective sales
• The difference between being likable and being relevant
• How surface-level rapport leads to surface-level answers
• The subtle signs your rapport isn’t working (hello, “I’ll think about it”)
• Why generic questions like “How’s your business going?” miss the mark
• A simple question to audit your own sales calls this week
• How to bring intentionality into your conversations without being awkward or pushy

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🔗 Resources Mentioned

• Sales Conversation Assessment (quick + super insightful): https://buildingmomentum.info/assessment

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💬 Join the Conversation / Subscribe

If this episode made you rethink your sales calls (or cringe just a little—in a productive way 😂), you’re going to love what we’re doing over here:

👉 https://buildingmomentum.info/matcha

New episodes, practical frameworks, and real talk about selling without feeling like a weirdo.

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🤝 Connect with Brooke on LinkedIn

Want more no-fluff sales insight (with a side of personality)?

👉 https://linkedin.com/in/brooke-greening

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Here’s your gentle nudge for the week: Are you starting your sales calls with something specific to them… or something you could say to literally anyone?

That one shift? It changes everything.

Progress counts. And thank goodness for that.

Why Your Sales Rapport Isn’t Closing Deals (Fix This) - Chapters

00:00 Why Most Sales Rapport Doesn’t Close Deals
00:17 The Real Problem With “Good” Sales Calls
02:33 What Rapport in Sales Actually Means
03:13 Why Small Talk Doesn’t Help You Sell
04:32 Why Prospects Stay Surface-Level
05:09 Being Likable vs Being Relevant
06:42 Why Prospects Say “I Need to Think About It”
08:12 Why You Can’t Wing Sales Calls
09:12 Stop Saying “How’s Your Business Going?”
09:38 How to Build Better Rapport on Sales Calls
10:27 Intentional Connection vs Generic Friendliness
11:48 A Simple Rapport Check for Your Next Call
12:11 What to Listen for in the Next Episode

Why Your Sales Rapport Isn’t Closing Deals (Fix This)

Brooke Greening: So let's just go ahead and say the thing. Most people think they're really good at establishing rapport, but they're actually just good at being polite and there is a difference in sales conversations.

Right, and I do feel like this is where people get tripped up because they feel like it's like this warmup act instead of realizing this is how the entire conversation is going to work. Because if you do not have real rapport, everything is going to stay surface level.

And so being likable. Is not the goal being relevant to them and their business is.

They're not going to actually tell you what's going on. Again, it goes back to those like safe answers and then the big one is at the end of the call you feel like, Hey, this went really well. That call felt really good.

We had a good connection. And they end with, I want to think about it. That's how you know, oh we missed something.

Scott Greening: Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Sippin' Matcha and Helping You Make More Sales. I'm Scott, your host, and I'll be joined in just a moment by Brooke, my wife and co-host where. About the time that it takes you to drink your matcha or beverage of choice. Brooke will give you some great sales advice in having those conversations.

And we're going to bring Brooke in. We are going through, we've just had our Easter season, we're have our own business. We are launching, helping launch a new campus with our church. And

Brooke Greening: any

Scott Greening: nonprofit, it's probably not an exaggeration to say that we meet dozens, maybe hundreds of people a month and Oh, yeah.

And we have a lot of conversations that sort of go something like, I know of you or, oh, I know you, but we don't know them. And so I just had one of these this last weekend. Somebody said, Hey, I introduced myself to them. This was at a church service. And they said, oh, we know you. 'cause I'm part of the pastoral team.

I show up on stage sometimes and that and and I'm like thinking in the back of my mind. Am I supposed to know them? What do they know about me?

Brooke Greening: Did one of those wedding pictures accidentally sneak out of you dancing on the dance floor?

Scott Greening: Well, yeah, that's what I'm wondering. Like what embarrassing moment have they do they know of in my life?

Brooke Greening: Oh, so true, so true.

Scott Greening: But we are talking about the introduction stages of a sales conversation and that, and so we're continuing our breakdown of your service sales framework. And I think we're talking today about a part of the conversation that most people think, oh, I've got this down. But, based on me living with you and seeing you do this in action, like there's a little bit more to it than I think what people often think. And that's the establishing rapport section.

Brooke Greening: Oh, absolutely. So this is what I want to say, and this is what I want to be really, really clear on. Rapport, is building connection and relevance to their business quickly.

So it's not just being nice, it's not asking, Hey, how was your weekend? Or what's going on with the weather? Or just making small talk. None of that is bad. We're not saying don't ever do that. But when we're talking about establishing rapport and how we can start to separate ourselves from the competitor, we have to build real connection with them and real relevance to their business.

That is what we're talking about. And so, and I know Scott, you were going to mention like. We're not downplaying small talk like you need to ask how they're doing. A lot of times on Zoom conversations, we're just checking to see if our mic is working at that point. Yeah. But that is not what's going to move the business and the sales conversation forward.

We don't want to get stuck in that.

Scott Greening: Yeah. There's like a cultural norm where we do a little bit of chitchat and that's how we ease into conversations and that's. Fine and good and would probably be even a little weird if you didn't do it. But what happens is like it gets stuck there, and then at some point, if it lasts more than just a couple of minutes, like people are busy and they're like I'm not taking time outta my day to be on a sales call to shoot the breeze about the weather with somebody that I don't really know.

Brooke Greening: Right, and I do feel like this is where people get tripped up because they feel like it's like this warmup act instead of realizing this is how the entire conversation is going to work. Because if you do not have real rapport, everything is going to stay surface level. They're not going to tell you their real problem.

And I, we're going to talk about this in the coming episodes. This is what I share with my clients all the time. If you get the problem wrong, everything is going to start falling apart. So if we do not establish that rapport and that relevance with them quickly, they're not going to tell us their problem and we can't actually help them at that point.

And so being likable. Is not the goal being relevant to them and their business is. So this is not like people talk about, Hey, I want to build connection. We're not talking about dating, we're not talking about building that spark. We're talking about how they start to realize, oh, you can help me. You can help my business make money.

You can help solve the problem that I have. That is how we start to build. That relevance that is beneficial to them, to their business?

Scott Greening: Yeah. I was going to say, thankfully, like for us, there was a bit of a spark when we went on our first date. Uh, so much so that like,

Brooke Greening: it was like fireworks.

Scott Greening: We only went on three dates before we got engaged, but that's not what people are.

Are trying to reproduce on Yes. On a, a sales call and being likable is important. Like people do business with people that they know, like, and trust. Yes. Yes. But it's not, but it's not

Brooke Greening: the whole

Scott Greening: thing. Yeah. It's not the whole thing. And what's most important is do I think you're going to be able to help me?

Do I think you're going to be able to move my business forward, solve a problem do that and. You begin to set that or build that rapport to use our word. Mm-hmm. Very, very early with some intentionality in the mm-hmm. In the conversation. What happens if somebody's on a call?

They're having their sales conversations. They think they're building rapport, but they're actually not.

Brooke Greening: Yes, so this is how you can know, so you guys can listen to your sales conversations, you can talk to your sales teams, all of that, and you can just start asking yourself if people are giving you safe answers, if they are giving you like what we call that surface level problem, and we don't know what's actually driving them and motivating them.

That's a good, that's a good indication. We didn't actually establish the rapport that we needed to. They're not going to actually tell you what's going on. Again, it goes back to those like safe answers and then the big one is at the end of the call you feel like, Hey, this went really well. That call felt really good.

We had a good connection. And they end with, I want to think about it. That's how you know, oh we missed something. And that starts when we start talking about establishing rapport.

Scott Greening: Yeah. And I think that's like when you're starting out, when you're getting reps in, and again, I'm always going to be behind you and sales reps for the rest of my life, but, and that, and you get to the end.

Brooke Greening: That's because I've had 90,000 sales conversations. Right, right. So that's why he is saying he is behind. We're not trying to be mean, but he is. There is no way he'll catch up to me that

Scott Greening: that is, that is true. But like you, you feel like the win is. Oh, I didn't make a complete fool of myself and I think the person maybe sort of liked me and okay, for a little bit that's good.

To just like, you didn't stumble through it and you got a couple reps, but ultimately, again, like that's not the point. Of sales calls,

Brooke Greening: no. And what we want to remind ourself is in this day and age with a and I and our websites and everything that's going on, again, people can do a lot of stuff before they actually have to talk to you.

So one, they don't necessarily want to talk to you. Two, they've made a lot of decisions before they've started talking to you. So when you have that first sales conversation, that second sales conversation. Those are very valuable and we cannot wing it. And so we can't just hope that they like us and trust us, and that we can move on.

There are ways to be intentional about it, and that's what we're talking about today and what we're going to be talking in the next couple of episodes with. Yeah. So if people are, it's really important to do that.

Scott Greening: If people are sitting there and they're thinking like, okay. Again, maybe I've got a little bit of to work to do.

I am beginning to see how what you're talking about might be a little different. What would be just like a little bit of a change or a shift that they could start to work on that might help them?

Brooke Greening: Yeah. So if we say something like, Hey, how's your business going? Or, tell me about your business.

There's two things at that and those are not my favorite sentences. And my clients get really nervous a lot of the time 'cause they're like, you just shot down the one thing that I do feel comfortable saying, but I'm going to tell you why. Because when we say, Hey, how's your business going? Or Tell me about your business, it's literally shouting.

We know nothing about it and that's not what we want to do. So you want to ask yourself a question. Am I saying anything specific to them or could this sentence be said to anyone? If it can be said to anyone, then we are not building rapport that is going to be building that actual connection and relevance to their business.

How's your business going? Tell me about your business. Those are very generic, and you could say that to anyone. And so that's how you can know okay, I need to shift it. It needs to be specific about them.

Scott Greening: All right. So instead of looking for generic friendliness, and again, I mean that in the best way possible, like you're just trying to be a nice person.

I'm not throwing shade at anyone, but you're suggesting No,

Brooke Greening: but we are trying to help people make money, and I am telling you, if you do this. It makes a difference in your sales conversations.

Scott Greening: Right. So instead of that we're saying like, instead of generic friendliness, we're looking for intentional connection.

And I know intentionality is. It's a big deal to you and that, and if you're wondering in your sales conversations or how you're processing things like how you are doing with this intentionality idea, I'd encourage you to look at Brooke's sales conversation assessment. In about five minutes or so, she'll walk you through all the different parts.

Of her service sales framework, and you'll get a report back that highlights some of your strong areas and your not so strong areas. You'll find out how you're doing on establishing rapport as well as all of the different things. And so you can access that by going to buildingmomentum.info/assessment.

And again, it takes. 3, 5, 7 minutes to go through it and you'll get some really helpful insights on how things are going.

So, Brooke, as we think about bringing this intentionality to the establishing rapport section of your conversation, you were given some advice earlier on kind of a little bit of a shift on how to do that. If you're going to put that in a question that people could evaluate this week or in their next conversation or looking back on their last conversation how would you put that.

Brooke Greening: Sure. So this week I want you to ask the question, do I start my sales calls with something specific to that person and their business, or is what I'm saying, could I just say literally to anyone? If it is not specific to that person and the business that they're in? That is going to tell you a lot about how you're establishing rapport.

Scott Greening: All right, next time we're going to come in, we're going to continue this conversation on establishing rapport. And we're going to talk about what this actually sounds like. And again, we'll give some good example a few bad ones and some things that might hit a little close to home. Brooke, do you have any last words for us today?

Brooke Greening: Yeah, I just want to encourage you that you don't have to feel like building connection and establishing rapport is like a dating show and that you're trying to get the chemistry going or whatever the case is. You just need to be a little bit more intentional and we're going to teach you how to be able to do that.

Scott Greening: Great. If you're looking forward to the next conversation like I am, we would encourage you to like. These these videos to subscribe to the podcast or on your listening or viewing platform of choice. We always appreciate hearing from you. You can find all the links and all the information at buildingmomentum.info/matcha.

But until next time, we hope you enjoy your break and make some more sales.

Brooke Greening: See you later.